Maybe

It's been while, I feel like blogging. But dont know how to start the topic.

If you are tired of waiting for someone, something.... should you let go ? Give up ? Or... continue wait ? Why wait.... when you know that he / things that you are waiting will not be coming back to you anymore ?

I cant handle those pain when I think of you. So I wish that I could delete myself. I wish I could be more rational. Delete you from my memory. So, I wont be feeling like this.... If only I could.

Life.... is just like another prom night. The person that invite you for the first dance. Would not be the one that be there for you thru the whole night. And I also understand, the one that you love the most, would not be the one that walk thru the life with you.

This is life.

A Beautiful life, when you fall down from top of the world. And yet, you can stand up straight and show to everyone that you are alright. But only you, yourself know that... the hardest part... is how you cure your bleeding heart and make it back to shape.

I admit that,
I am a greedy girl. A girl that wish to have to special invitation card to get back to your world again. Only... I have the invitation once again....

Stupid me, Why still want to get the invitation card? If I am not waiting for the invitation anymore, what am I doing right now ? Why still wasting my time to be so emo and immune myself from work. But... what if I got the invitation card again from you ? Will I really be happy ? No, I dont think so too.... Sigh, I really lost..... I do not know what I am into right now.... so lost!

Every time, I have to pretend that I am ok! I already let go the past. I already recover from it. But, you came in once and once again just to knock me down again and again without myself realize about how tired I am to make myself stand up again and again. I smile when I think of our love story, but when I awake from the truth, truth that you are not with me anymore, I felt cold... that will never make me feel warm anymore.

Maybe one day, I will get use of this feeling.

Maybe one day, I will really recover...

Maybe.....